Dancing Mad: The Life Story of Kefka Palazzo
by OddName
Summary: [FFVI] What makes a man insane? A look at the events that shaped the psycho clown. Please R & R


**Chapter 1: The Dance Begins**

"Kefka, you're absolutely insane."

General Leo looked hard into Kefka's eyes. Kefka merely smirked at Leo, amused at his incredulity over Kefka's actions.

"You knew this would happen, Leo. It's the way I've always been."

The great General continued to stare at Kefka, determination filling his eyes. After a long time, however, he simply collapsed, sighing as if to admit defeat.

"I fold."

General Leo tossed his cards away, his arm resting on the table and supporting his head. He watched glumly as Kefka took the huge pile of chips from the center and added them to his already impressive stack.

"So what did you have?"

Kefka looked up from sorting and counting his chips at these words. Grinning broadly, he held up his cards for Leo to see.

"Pair of threes," he said smugly.

Leo shook his head and laughed. He could no longer even count the amount of times Kefka had bluffed him out with such an amazingly terrible hand. He had to admit, his aide-de-camp was pretty good at poker.

"I don't know how you keep beating me. You'd think I'd win a game every once in a while…"

Kefka smiled again as he continued sorting his chips into small stacks. They were perfectly fine before, but he always had fun emphasizing just how many of them he had.

"Sorry, Leo, but I'm just that good. Maybe you should just stop playing against me."

Leo couldn't help but laugh at his friend's words. Kefka was fine company, and a good man, but when it came to card games, his arrogance was through the roof.

"One of these days, I'm going to catch you on a bluff. And then I might even win. But as for tonight, I'm getting tired."

"Alright then, Leo, I'll see you tomorrow. But don't think I'm going to forget about all the money you owe me!"

Chuckling, Leo stood up and stretched. Walking to the door of Kefka's quarters, he opened it and stepped into the hallway of the massive bunker. Heading for his own room, he silently lamented the loss of a large portion of his considerable paycheck.

The reverie sounded throughout the building, alerting all the troops that it was time to wake up. They all woke quickly (though some were certainly less groggy than others), putting on their uniforms and armor. Rushing outside, they lined up for General Leo's routine inspection. The general stood in front of all of them, his aide-de-camp, Kefka, beside him. Though Kefka was wearing a regular soldier's outfit, General Leo had his impressive suit of armor on.

The assembled soldiers couldn't help but be in awe of Leo. They all had the utmost respect for him. After all, he was just a young man, barely in his teens, and he'd already attained the rank of General. Part of this was because of his illustrious family, but no one could deny that Leo had considerable skill.

With Kefka, it was a different story. He had just been a normal soldier with Leo when Leo's climb to the top had begun. But the two of them had formed a fast friendship, so Kefka rose through the ranks with him. He had talent, but Lieutenant was perhaps a little more than he deserved. This made the soldiers resent him slightly, but Kefka was the sort of guy you couldn't help but like. He was light-hearted, and his practical jokes were legendary. That one captain STILL hadn't stopped being mad at him for the incident with the pig…

"Lieutenant Kefka, role call," Leo said in his commanding voice.

"Yes, sir," Kefka said, saluting.

Turning to the troops, he called out all of the names alphabetically, reading from the clipboard in his hands. Every soldier was present and accounted for; the Empire, especially its military, prided itself on its efficiency.

"Good," Leo said approvingly. "Now, for the inspection."

Leo walked down the long line of troops, going over each of them with a critical eye. Kefka followed a few steps behind, keeping pace with Leo. Leo, for his part, made a comment or two to an occasional soldier, but overall found the troops in good shape.

"Okay," he announced, having finished his inspection. "You all know your duties for the day. Dismissed!"

The soldiers slowly left the area to perform their duties, until it was just Leo and Kefka left. The two turned to one another, the air of formality that was so thick before now practically nonexistent.

"So, anything big planned for today, Leo?" Kefka asked.

"No, just a meeting with the Emperor. Nothing of too much importance," Leo replied.

Kefka laughed and shook his head.

"Only you could call a meeting with the Emperor nothing of too much importance."

Leo smiled as he realized that, to many, this would be a big deal. But as a general of the Empire, a meeting with the Emperor was, in fact, a routine occurrence. He never even gave the topics of the talks much thought; they were mostly about the status of the armies and the Empire itself.

"So, do you need me to come with you to the meeting? Or is it one of those things that generals do alone?"

"There's no need for you to join me, Kefka. In fact, I can't think of anything that you really need to do right now. Take the day off."

"Thanks, Leo. I owe you one."

Leo smirked as he deviously replied, "Just how much would that be?"

Kefka chuckled as he shook his finger at Leo. "You're not getting out of it that easily. I fully expect all the money I won last night."

"Damn," Leo said jokingly. "Well, I better be off. I'll see you later."

"Bye."

Kefka watched his friend and superior Leo walk away, and then thought about what he would do. It wasn't often that he got a day off, so he didn't have a lot of plans to fall back on. Realizing that a day off meant he was free to eat somewhere besides the mess hall, he decided that a nice, big breakfast would be a great start to the day.

Walking through Vector, he took some time to enjoy the scenery as he made his way towards the restaurant. The Empire was the most technologically advanced country in the world, and you could tell by its capital. Steam rose from huge machines as they performed whatever strange duties they had been built for. It was really quite awe-inspiring.

Before he knew it, Kefka had reached the small building he was walking towards. Opening the door, he left the symbol of progress that was the city of Vector behind him, and entered a small, cozy café. It was never a busy place, but the food was top-notch. He had come here so often, in fact, that the people who owned it were now on a first-name basis with him, instead of all the fuss over military titles. He liked it better that way; in fact, even if the food was rotten, he would keep coming back because of that.

"Ah, Kefka, I see you have the day off," said a young girl at the counter, smiling.

"Yup," he replied, sitting at a stool in front of her, "And if I have to tell you what I'm ordering, then you really haven't been paying attention."

The girl laughed slightly and walked into the kitchen to tell the cooks what he wanted. Kefka began idly playing with a salt shaker as he waited. For some reason, likely because of the girl's forgoing of them, his thoughts turned to his disdain of military titles. In fact, he disliked most of the army establishment. It all seemed so terribly formal and tedious. Kefka had a very relaxed personality, and an admittedly short attention span. Not exactly the best qualities for a soldier.

So why had he joined in the first place? It wasn't like he came from a long line of soldiers, like Leo. And it wasn't like a soldier's career was all he could really manage, like many of the new recruits. No, he had joined because of a desire to help the Empire. He smiled inwardly as he realized that he seemed like the last person to have any amount of patriotism, but it was true. He wanted to help his country. He just wished there was a better way.

His musings were interrupted by the arrival of his breakfast. The girl placed the hot plate in front of him, announcing its contents in an amused tone.

"French toast, with ketchup and a cantaloupe," she said, eyeing Kefka. "You really are an oddball, you know that?"

Kefka grinned, and replied, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Halfway through his meal, another soldier walked into the café. Scanning the room quickly, he found Kefka and walked up to him. Saluting, he said, "Lieutenant Kefka, sir, I have a message for you."

Sighing, Kefka turned to the man. "Yes, go on," he said, a little impatiently.

"It's from Emperor Gestahl, sir. He wishes to meet with you immediately."

Kefka was actually surprised by this. In all his time in the Imperial Army, he had only seen the Emperor a few times, and he had never actually spoken to him. What did he want with Kefka all of a sudden?

"Um…of course. I'll be on my way immediately."

Kefka stood up and saluted, and the soldier left. Calling to the girl who had given him his plate, he left the necessary GP on the counter, as well as a considerable tip.

"Well, I'm afraid I must be off. Please, give my regards to the chefs for another excellent meal."

"See you later, Kefka," she said warmly.

Exiting the small restaurant, he started working his way through the industrial city, headed straight for the palace. The grand building stood at the end of the city, taller than any other building in Vector. A majority of the factories and machinery surrounded it, as well as the houses of the richest people in the entire Empire. This section of the city was truly magnificent, a testament to the power of the Emperor.

Walking up the immense staircase at the front of the palace, Kefka found himself at the doors that blocked most visitors from entering. A guard stood in front of them, staring forward intently. His gaze snapped to Kefka, and his deep voice cut through the air like a knife.

"Who goes there?"

Slightly startled, Kefka flinched. Pulling himself together, he saluted and nervously replied, "Lieutenant Kefka, sir. Emperor Gestahl said he wanted to see me."

The man's eyes shifted to a small clipboard that he carried, analyzing the words written upon it. Seemingly satisfied, he turned around and opened the large palace doors.

"Of course, Lieutenant. Follow me."

The guard walked through the entrance, and Kefka followed timidly. The doorway opened up into a huge, impressive hallway. It was decorated beautifully, filled with paintings, sculptures, murals, and almost any other kind of decoration you can imagine. Kefka was awed, and almost forgot to follow the guard. Quickening his pace to catch up, they continued forward, past several doors, until they reached the end. Two doors waited there. The guard opened these as well, and shouted into the room beyond.

"Lieutenant Kefka here to see the mighty Emperor Gestahl."

At first, no sound came from within the room. After a few moments, however, a low voice issued forth, sounding somehow regal.

"Very well. Send him in."

The guard nodded and stepped to the side, gesturing for Kefka to walk inside. He did so, nervousness causing him to fidget as he did so. The throne room was even more beautiful than the hallway, if that was possible, and at the end sat Emperor Gestahl himself. Before he even knew what he was doing, Kefka bowed low, his face almost touching the ground. The Emperor's low voice sounded again, prompting Kefka to stand.

"Lieutenant Kefka. General Leo has said many good things about you."

"General Leo is too kind, sir. I'm just an average soldier."

Kefka, now standing, looked up at Emperor Gestahl. He wore royal black robes, and his clothes were a deep red color. His black hair was long, as was his mustache, and they were beginning to turn grey. Everything about his presence gave off an air of superiority, and he looked down at Kefka with a vague interest in his eyes.

"Yes, that's true," he said, a smile beginning to form on his lips, "but how would you like to be more than that?"

"S…sir?" was all Kefka could manage to say.

"I'm sure you've heard of our recent acquisition of the creatures known as Espers."

Kefka nodded. Leo had told him something of the sort, though he hadn't really paid attention.

"Well, now I am curious as to how we can use these creatures," Gestahl continued, his stare growing more intense, "and learning their effects on a human. I wanted Leo to be the human we tested on, but he was…not interested. He did, however, mention you."

Kefka couldn't say anything as Gestahl spoke. He didn't know much about these Espers, but he remembered Leo saying that they could use some force known as magic. Leo had said that it was a mysterious power that led them to do incredible things. These experiments…could they let someone…?

"If you agree, you will have power beyond imagination. And you will be helping the Empire advance even further in power and prestige. What do you say, Lieutenant?"

Speechless, Kefka looked wide-eyed at his Emperor. Was this all real? Was he really being offered this? He could have power, he could help the Empire, and he could do it all without having to fuss with the military? Gathering himself, he could barely make his voice speak the word "Yes."

Gestahl's small smile became a full-fledged one as he continued to look down at Kefka.

"Excellent."

For some reason, that one word sent a shiver down Kefka's spine.

Cid's laboratory was littered with notes about experiments, vials, strange potions and other liquids, large machines, and just about everything else one would imagine a scientist would have. Kefka looked around as Cid prepared something over several of the vials. It had been a few days since he had agreed to the experiments, and they were just now beginning. He sat on a table that Cid had cleared for him, waiting for the doctor to return.

"Ah! There we go. Now, roll up your sleeve, and we'll give this a try."

Cid turned and walked to Kefka as he said this, holding a syringe filled with an odd, glowing substance. Kefka rolled up his sleeve as instructed, wincing as Cid carefully inserted the needle into his skin. The substance slowly drained out of the syringe and into his blood stream, until all of it was gone. Pulling the needle out, Cid produced a small, unlit candle as Kefka rolled his sleeve back down.

"Now, try to light this candle with your mind," he said calmly. Kefka, however, stared at him in confusion. Realizing this, Cid laughed slightly.

"Oh, don't worry. That's just something that magic will allow you to do. Just think fire, and, if our experiment here worked, it should be no problem."

Still a little skeptical, Kefka nonetheless focused on the wick of the candle, focusing on producing a fire there. He concentrated intensely, trying desperately to light the fire. But aside from a small spark, nothing came from any of this.

"Oh," Cid said, disappointed. "Well, there's still more experiments to try. Let's continue, shall we?"

Several days later, Cid stood nervously in Gestahl's throne room. The Emperor's intense eyes looked down upon the scientist, his low voice speaking harshly.

"There are still no results from the experiments."

"No, my liege. I'm afraid not," Cid spoke quickly, "Aside from a few minimal accomplishments, the subject has shown no signs of any extraordinary abilities."

"And there are no other methods left to try?"

Cid hesitated before speaking. "Well…" he said, considerably more slowly than last time, "there is one. But it's very dangerous. There's no telling what-"

"Do it."

Kefka was laying down on another of Cid's tables. This time, however, he was strapped down onto it, and his shirt was off. Several tubes were stuck into his body, leading into containers filled with unusual substances. A rather large needle hovered ominously over him. Cid kept nervously checking everything to make sure it was perfect, and Kefka watched him with more than a little apprehension present in his eyes.

"Now, this is going to be quite a bit more…intense than the other experiments," Cid said reassuringly, "but you should be fine. I just have to give you a little something to make sure that you…erm…remain conscious."

Thanks mostly to the last thing that he said Cid's words did little to alleviate Kefka's fears. He barely even noticed when Cid inserted another syringe, draining some liquid into Kefka's body. His eyes were focused on the large needle above him, which seemed to gleam menacingly at him. Cid walked a good distance away from the table, and then pressed a switch on the wall. The substances in the container began to drain into the tubes. Kefka waited nervously for them to reach him, hoping that it would be as painless as all the other injections.

Sadly, Kefka's wish was not fulfilled. The sheer amount of the substance flooding into his body caused a massive burning sensation throughout his body. It spread everywhere, causing every part of him to be in pain. He choked back a scream, gritting his teeth against the pain he felt. It hurt more than anything he'd ever experienced, but he would live…until the needle came.

The needle fell from its position above him. It descended upon him quickly, stabbing into his chest. From it, even more of the terrible substance was poured into his body, at the very least quadrupling the amount of pain. No longer able to hold it back, he screamed, he screamed and screamed and screamed, the pain he felt refusing to cease, threatening to override his very mind and soul. The pain only increased, and his screaming increased in pitch. He thought he would die from this, this horrible pain, worse than anything else he'd ever felt in his life…

…but wait. That didn't make sense. This horrible, unceasing pain was all that had ever been. It stretched across his entire life; after all, it was all he could remember at this point. But that would mean…that life was nothing but pain. Everything that had been done…it was all a waste. A big waste, when all life was merely nothing but waiting for death. All a big cosmic joke. That's all it had ever been…

Kefka stopped screaming as he came to this realization. A great, big cosmic joke! And now he understood it. The punch line was now clear to him as he sat on this table. And, my, what a joke it was! So intricate, and so subtle. A slow rumbling began to work its way up through Kefka's chest and into his mouth. At first, it came as a small chuckle, but then it worked its way up to a giggle, then a normal laugh, until it finally became an ear-splitting, soulless shriek.

And through the pain, Kefka Palazzo laughed.


End file.
